Strange Connections
by Animated Ninjas
Summary: The characters of Naruto make some strange connections, SasoDei, SasuNaru,and hinted KisaIta
1. The Wonders of Yogurt

**Ninja: Hiya! I just wanna let you know, this is a Shounen Ai fanfic and if you don't like it, don't read it. The pairing is SasoDei. I thought about this being a SasuNaru, but I thought it would be more fitting for Dei and Saso. SORIII! Can you PWEAASE do the disclaimer? PLEAASE! PLEASE PLEASE PLEA-**

**Sasori:….no….**

**Dei: awww come on Danna~ pweaaase? *makes sad puppy eyes at sori***

**Sasori: f-f-fine…Ninja doesn't own Naruto.**

**Ninja: KISHIMOTO-SAMA DOES! Now, -switches do dark French accent- enjoy ze story**

**SHORT SUMMARY:**

**Deidara makes a strange comparison. **

**PS. NOTICE. OR WHATEVER THE HELL YOU WANNA CALL IT! IF YOU ARE EATING YOGURT, OR LIKE YOGURT A LOT. LEAVE LIKE RIGHT NOW. I SWEAR I DON'T WANNA BE SUED FOR MAKING YOU CHOKE TO DEATH.**

**Sasori: You probably will anyway. **

**Ninja: Shut up.**

**Dei: Don't talk to Danna that way! Un! **

**Ninja: Don't push it Dei! I can still make another fanfiction where Sori does unimaginable things to you, to the point where you wont be able to walk or sit for over a month!**

**Sasori: I could deal with that.**

**Dei: -gulp- I-Ill be g-good.**

**-o-o-o-o-o-**

"Dannnaaa!" I say out loud lying down on my bed starring at the ceiling, un. I'm bored and can't think of anything to do. I mean, I've already made a bunch of clay figures, un. And I wanted to blow them up but Danna says he tired of cleaning up my messes, un. I asked him to take me out somewhere, un. I even said that we could go to the _library,_ the freaking _library, _un. And Danna knows for a FACT I hate the library, un. I like the books but it's too quiet, un. Lately he won't do anything, un. He's sitting on the desk in front of my bed doing paperwork .All he does work, work, and work now days, un. Bleh. To hell with work, un I'm too lazy.

"What brat." He

"Can you get me some yogurt, un?" I asked him. Lately I've been craving some yogurt, un.

"Get it yourself brat." I swear, un, if looks could kill Danna would have died more that ten times already, un. Thankfully they don't, un. If they did, Danna wouldn't be here, and I would be lonely, un. Or dealing with that idiot Tobi, un.

"Fine I will, un" damn Danna. Always so rude. Sometimes I wonder why I love him.

I went to the kitchen to get my yogurt, and I saw Itachi sitting on a stool in front of Kisame and was eating some dango, un. Kisame was braiding his hair, and Itachi looked pretty happy. 'Bout time he showed some emotions, un. "Ne, 'Tachi," Kisame asked.

"Hn?" It- I mean, HE asked.

"How do your hair so soft?" In Itachi's usual way he only replied with a 'Hn' .

I grabbed my yogurt, un, and left to go to me and Danna's room, un Before I did, I grabbed him a cut of iced tea for Danna and left to the room. I gave Danna the tea, he replied with a low grunt that meant 'thanks'. I plopped down on the bed and started eating my yogurt, as Danna took a sip then went to work. As I was eating, a strange though hit my mind. Just like that, un. I thought about what Danna's reaction might be. I smiled evilly, and I think Danna could tell I was without him having to turn around, because he tensed up.

"Hey, Danna? Un." I asked him.

"What." I waited till he started gulping down some iced tea.

"Have you noticed yogurt kinda has the texture of semen?" the minute I said that last word, un. I swear on my life (not really, but you get the point, un) that Danna did a spit take and turned 5 new levels of red, un. It was darker than his hair, un.

"w-wh-what on earth a-are you t-talking about?" aww he was stuttering, un. And here I was thinking _I_ was the uke in the relationship.


	2. The Blackmail Properties of Ducks

**Ninja: HII this is the second chapter of "Strange Connections." This is the SasuNaru one. I really like this pairing~ it's so cute. Except when Sasuke has to be a total asshole to Naruto -3-. BUT-**

**Dei:-snickers-**

**Ninja: -stares at Dei with evil intent-**

**Sori: This isn't your story Dei…lets go.. –drags Dei by the foot-**

**Ninja: AS. I. WAS. SAYING. There are no warnings for this chapter except for chickens….I don't think they'll like this one, I'm pretty sure they'd be offended -.-""**

**-o-o-o-o-o-o-**

Sasuke was on the floor reading in the living room, i was on my stomach lying down on the couch, playing with Sasuke's hair. "Ne, ne, Sasuke." I asked "Do you defy gravity or somthin'?" I really wanted to know, I mean, you've seen his hair. It's like…..it defies gravity or something, and it kinda looks like a ducks ass. (but he already knows that). And I've never seen him put ANYTHING in his hair, not even gel, ttebayo. I've been dating him for about a year and every time I ask him, he says its natural. I love the Teme… and we never lie to each other, but he always tells me the same thing! Yeah right, natural my ass.

"Dobe, it's called genetics" I glared at his hair. I. Don't. Think. So. He HAD to have put something in it, or flat ironed it and put hairspray in it or something!

I rolled over to my back, sat up and yelled "PLAN A. GO!" Sasuke jumped and turned his head to watch me run out the door.

**-o-o-o-o-o-o-**

"KAKASHI-SENSEI!" I yelled. I didn't know if he was home of not, and with all of those 'Icha-Icha Paradise' books he reads, I do NOT want to go in there. He might have a 'lady-friend' as he puts it, over….in his bed…..with strange possible noises…yeah….like hell I'm going in there. I started breathing in and out deeply, kind of like when you're about to go under water, and yelled "KAKASHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!"

"WHAT." He said slamming his door open, in his pajamas; a loose white shirt, big shorts that reached his knees, and for some reason he was still wearing that goddamn mask. I wonder if he could wear it in his sleep and still breath. "I'm still half asleep"

"Sensei, I have a question and a favor." I asked putting on my best serious face...well, at least the best one I can come up with and stared at him dead in the eyes...the only visible eye. . He raised a silver eyebrow. "Can you teach me some interrogation/blackmail tactics?"

"What would you do with that? You're very unpredictable and I don't want you to use what I taught you for some idiotic reason, then, have them figure out I gave you the advice, theeeen, possibly get killed because of you." He said with a poker face. Dammit. Sasuke _would_ probably try to kill Kakashi…after me…I gulped, and scratched the back of my head.

"Just, I kind of was gonna forc- I mean _ask_ Sasuke why his hair is the way it is…but he won't tell me so I _was_ gonna beat the- I mean blackmail him, so I came to you to ask for help."

"hmmm? Alright…sounds legitimate...come on in; I think I might have an idea. But we need a live duck first." SCOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO- ….what?

**-o-o-o-o-o-o-**

God I love Kakashi right now. He's fucking brilliant. Just don't tell him I ever said that. It'd make his already enormous ego even bigger. I was standing outside of me and Sasuke's house and I had the duck in my arms. I just needed to make sure Sasuke was asleep.

So I tiptoed inside of our house, and thank god, Sasuke was asleep, successfully accomplished my plan, then put a camcorder on the dresser next to them (I hid the camera so Sasuke couldn't see it. I'm an idiot, but I'm not COMPLETELY dumb), and left snickering.

**-o-o-o-o-o-o-**

"GAH!" Ehehehe… I know who was yelling and I'm pretty sure that you do too. "NARUTOOOO!" he yelled louder "WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO ME?" I walked into the house ever so casually. Like I had no idea what I did.

"What are you talking about, Sasuke-_kun_?" I made my best innocent face putting the puppy eye bar to freakin' 1,000, and that's pretty hard when you're trying your hardest not to burst out laughing. "Oh no! What happened to your head?"

"Don't act like you didn't do it." He growled. "I know it was you, you're the only idiot who would try this." I couldn't hold in my laughter any longer, I swear, if you saw what I saw in two minutes _flat_ you would die of laughter.

Alright, I think I've tortured you enough, I'll tell you what I did.

_FLASHBACK! OH YEAH!_

_I set the chicken next to his head. I was hoping that the duck would think of his hair as another chicken, possibly cuddle with it. And IF POSSIBLE try to hump his head of duck-ass hair and leave seamen in it. God that would be hilarious!_

_DAWW! FLASHBACKS OVER! BACK TO REALITY!_

"DAMMIT DOBE!" he bellowed (see? I can TOO use big words) "MY HAIR IS A FUCKING MESS NOW!"

"TELL ME WHAT YOU DO TO MAKE YOUR HAIR THAT WAY!" I yelled back in his face "DO IT OR I'LL YOU'LL WAKE UP TO DUCKS HUMPING YOU DUCK-ASS HAIR EVERYDAY!"

"IT'S FUCKING NATURAL!" Sasuke yelled, face getting _slightly_ red. I'm pretty sure I'm the only person who can make Sasuke yell like this, except Itachi, but that's beside the point. "GET IT THROUGH THAT THICK HEAD OF YOURS!"

"THEN THE DUCKS IT SHALL BE! BWAHAHAHAHAHAH" I laughed manically.

"God, y-your so annoying!" he mumbled under his breath. "Sometimes i wonder why I love you."

"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" i laughed "THE EVER-LOVING DUCKS SHALL RAPE YOUR HEAD EVERY MORNING UNTIL YOU SUBMIT AND TELL ME THE REAL-" i just barely heard that last sentence, but i knew what it meant. "Love you to, Sasuke" I smiled and gave him a short kiss to his nose and hugged him. "But you'll still get the ducks"

**-o-o-o-o-o-o-**

**Ninja: :D I did it! I feel so accomplished! THANK YOU SOCCERLOVER808 FOR BEING MY VERY FIRST FOLLOWER! I FELT SO FREAKIN PROUD! TTvTT I thank you SOOOOOOOOOOO much~! When I got the notification, I was like "oaiewf jdfka nvng OH MAH JASHIN!" **

**Sasuke: wh-what the hell ninja? **

**Naruto: I LIKE THAT IDEA!….. I wonder if that would work with the other characters of anime with gravity defying hair…OFF I GO!**

**Ninja: DONT GET YOURSELF KILLED NOW!**

**Sasuke: Idiots don't die..he'll be fine...i think...**


End file.
